You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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