I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
