It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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