Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
