all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
