I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
