3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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