Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
