walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
