I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
