The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
love makes seman taste better
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize