Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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