Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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