You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
