My nipple is on Facebook.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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