I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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