in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
