I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
