I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize