So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
