You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
