maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
