And the cops told us we were all naked.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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