that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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