I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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