I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
