I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We are two peas in an std pod
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
