Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
