You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize