he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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