people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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