We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
sex in a hospital.. check
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
