You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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