so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
