so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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