Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
