Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
