McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize