I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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