Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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