Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
