guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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