Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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