I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My ass is underappreciated
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
