Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
