It's like God shit irony all over that family
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
