where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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