Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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