It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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