The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
