Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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