I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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