If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
as a side note pls kill me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
