She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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