I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
