Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
