Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
