I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I pour the whiskey from now on
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize