margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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