Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
