So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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