she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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