So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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