wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She even gives head with a lisp.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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