Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize