I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
