I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
