I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
