Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
