WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize