So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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