and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
