Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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