it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He passed out mid-signature
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
