actually, I'm a sock model
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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